So in the weeks before my birthday, several of my friends told me that I "HAD" to drink on my birthday because it's "just what you have to do when you turn 21." When I responded that I'd much rather have a nice dinner at a Japanese steakhouse or something instead, I got the "awwwww come on"s and "but you have to"s.
I also have I guess "unusual" views on dating...I don't date guys unless I feel an extremely strong connection with them because otherwise I just feel like I'm wasting my time trying to convince myself I'm into a guy that I'm really not that crazy about, and I also avoid relationships I know are going to eventually fail because, frankly, I'm not a fan of heartbreak or spending months with someone just to have him exit your life one day.
And my sister is the complete opposite; she dates every single guy who so much as looks at her because she has to have a boyfriend all of the time. So she's constantly making fun of me for it and trying to make me look bad in front of her friends...not just with the dating thing, but like her friend asked me to buy them alcohol, and she said "she's not like us" in the most condescending voice ever.
Why are such shallow things supposed to define our worth in society? I don't mean shallow in the sense that everyone who drinks to get drunk is "shallow"..I mean shallow in the sense that it sounds rather silly to me to say "if you don't drink this beverage, you're a loser."|||I sometimes think people want you to drink to reinforce their own behavior.
If you went out and was the only one drunk all the time you might wish to question your behavior, however if EVERYONE around you was the same there would be no reason to confront your behavior.|||Normal is anyones definition. Give yourself a pat on the back for being more socially cultivated and mature than your peers.|||Good for you. Stand your ground. I am one of those such people. Sure my favorite drink is a whiskey sour, or a highball, but I only drink ONE when I'm at a wedding. I don't drink wine, Not beer, not nothing. I never once went out and got "trashed" on my 21st Birthday. I spent it with my family, and relatives at a nice restaurant. Continue to be the "Loser" they think you are. :) It's the best thing to be, as far as I'm concerned. Your friends are NOT Friends if they want to FORCE You to drink, just because you are 21. I am 43 and I still get carded trying to buy wine for my husband. Give me a break.|||I'm trying to figure out the exact same thing. I just don't get society. Why are people going out, getting trashed and going home with a different man every weekend? Why do we have to make ourselves look like matchsticks to be beautiful? Why are men treating women like sex toys?
Really, it is pathetic and shallow. What about manners? Where have they gone? What happened to chivalry? Where has having a bit of class gone?
Call me old fashioned.|||It is viewed as a rite of passage in college-speak. Basically they are trying to encourage you to be more outgoing when that may be in fact outside of your nature. You have every right not to participate in this rite because it is designed for the cultural norm that doesn't befit every individual. I understand exactly where you're coming from as I didn't feel it to be relevant to partake in that either until a bit later in my years when I was with a more comfortable set of friends(the real kind).
Don't take it so hard, they're just trying to get you to be outgoing and they cannot comprehend anyone being anything but. I'm sure you are smart enough to think of something clever to weasel your way out of an awkward situation of refusing a drink ;).|||You are *SO* right. I'm a 20 year old guy and I have never had any alcohol, alcohol is the reason I don't know my Dad, it's pointless and it destroys lives. But my friends don't try to get me to drink or take drugs because they know it will NEVER happen, not in a million years. Remember, most people are idiots. Every time I speak to a new person or watch television I become more assured that humanity is a pile of dolts. Don't ever give in to peer-pressure.
I agree with you on the dating thing as well. I don't really like promiscuity. I have never asked a girl out, but luckily in the last four years or so a few girls I know have taken an interest in me and they have asked me out.
You're right, don't do what you think you're "supposed" to do. Just stick by your morals.|||Wow, you sound just like my son.
Your sister needs to learn to accept you for who you are. There's a lot of pressure from society to be like everyone else (which always makes me think they'd be the kind who'd jump off a bridge if all their friends were jumping off bridges). You don't need added family pressure.
Be who you are; people who don't accept you are jerks.
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