So in the weeks before my birthday, several of my friends told me that I "HAD" to drink on my birthday because it's "just what you have to do when you turn 21." When I responded that I'd much rather have a nice dinner at a Japanese steakhouse or something instead, I got the "awwwww come on"s and "but you have to"s.
I also have I guess "unusual" views on dating...I don't date guys unless I feel an extremely strong connection with them because otherwise I just feel like I'm wasting my time trying to convince myself I'm into a guy that I'm really not that crazy about, and I also avoid relationships I know are going to eventually fail because, frankly, I'm not a fan of heartbreak or spending months with someone just to have him exit your life one day.
And my sister is the complete opposite; she dates every single guy who so much as looks at her because she has to have a boyfriend all of the time. So she's constantly making fun of me for it and trying to make me look bad in front of her friends...not just with the dating thing, but like her friend asked me to buy them alcohol, and she said "she's not like us" in the most condescending voice ever.
Why are such shallow things supposed to define our worth in society? I don't mean shallow in the sense that everyone who drinks to get drunk is "shallow"..I mean shallow in the sense that it sounds rather silly to me to say "if you don't drink this beverage, you're a loser."|||You're hanging around the wrong people. Now that you're 21- discover yourself- stick to your guns and find new friends.|||you're normal, fyi.
you do not live in society which s a good thing. be true to yourself. you're fine.
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|||I don't think its about drinking. I think its about your ability to have fun. Going out, drinking a few, dancing, listening to music - well some people find it fun. And its a way to connect with others. Since many people do that, its a way to be like other people or at least connect with them. Going out to eat may be nice, but its short lived and if you run out of things to talk about - it can be a little boring at times. You don't have to be a drunk but having a drink with your friends and dancing with them is a way to show them you care about them because THEY like to do that. And they are just trying to get you to loosen up a little. Because dinner can only last so long. The dancing/club scene just keeps the evening going. As for guys, some guys are a lot of fun. They can be like a new great friend to chat with. And if you pick the right kinds, they won't leave, they'll want to stick around.|||Heck if I know. I have noticed things like this my whole life, and they never made sense,
When someone says, "i'm sorry, I can't drink, I am an alcoholic" why do have the people in the room INSIST that it is OK for him/her to have just one drink? That's insane. But i have seen it a lot.
I really have thought about this. and the best i have come up with is that these insisting people
1) do not value you, or your right to be yourself, different
2) they may be OFFENDED that you want to be yourself, not one of the crowd
3) they flatly don't count you as a friend if you don't drink with them, or follow their lead in whatever they are doing.
For some reason , they see different as either insulting or as a threat.
Part of it reminds me of classic mob behavior, part of it reminds me of lemmings.|||Yeah Mob behavior is powerful-I bet a lot of people may feel the same way but don't really stand strong in their grounds because of the other individuals. So really its a small percentage of our society that has control over these majority of behaviors...merely by influence.
If that makes senese..I know it sucks you should keep to your grounds though and you will meet worthwhile people that respect you and maybe feel the same.|||i know, i know.
its liek when i turned 17 everyone said to me "are you learning to drive" i was liek "no." and they looked really appalled and asked me why not? i said "because i have no money to leanr how to drive!" and now they get all above themselves because they're learning and i'm not. its like a i said to my friend "we've got to go over the main road to get to __" and she turned to me and was like "you think thats a main road? you think you can go 50mph on that?" really mockingly
soem people just feel the need to mould into whats "normal" and by doing it they force it on everyone else.
its a strange world :)|||hi there!
Hey we also have almost the same experience !Well , my classmates in college said that it is good to have a good time like drinking in a pub, spending all night partying but actually I don't like parties. I rather eat in a fine restaurant or eat fish balls at the street or stay at home watching movies or reading books than going out and spending the night with people who only think is drink drink until you drop! It's a waste of time! My classmates said that it's good for me to go out to meet new people. Hello! It's nice to have many friends but it's more nice to have a real friend who will stand by you even if millions are against you. What I mean is partying helps you meet new people but not all of them are real! I'm sure some of them are fakes! I don't think not going out or not hanging out at a club is abnormal. Hello! We have a choice. It's a yes or no. There are so many ways to gain friends or meet people. You can join any organizations or a church choir or just hang out with your friends to keep you busy. It's not also bad to be alone some time. If you friends are insisting you to drink and you don't like to drink, tell them frankly. If they disagree maybe it's time to talk to them seriously or maybe you just have to avoid them slowly. For me, I don't call a friend a friend if he/she insist me things I really don't like to do because it only means he/she does not accept you. An effective friendship must also have an element called acceptance. hahaha Oh my gosh! I called it element! hahaha..
My bestfriend before also makes fun of me because I'm single and completely NBSB or NO BOYFRIEND SINCE BIRTH! She's making fun of me and made me look bad! Oh I really hate it! My mom also teased me because I'm single. I'm also like you I don't like to date guys that I don't have feelings because it's a waste of time. I want a guy who have deep feelings for me. It's not that I don't want to be heartbroken but because I want to have a real relationship. I mean if I'll date someone again it must be someone special.I'm 22 years old. I think it's time to be matured and think of the future. I don't want to waste my time dating a guy I don't like. I tried once before but it didn't work.
You don't have to do the things that people told you. You have to stand for yourself or be independent. You must know first what you really want to do in life and be focus. Doing the things you hate will make your life miserable! Believe me! You will not be happy. You have to get out of your shelf. You must also be proud and confident to face life's challenges. There's more important things to do than drinking,dating and partying. Think of your future because if you don't think today ,it might be too late tomorrow.
I remember what my friend said ," SUFFER NOW, ENJOY LATER".
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